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Reply #90 posted 09/25/16 3:31pm

gandorb

OzlemUcucu said:

PurpleDiamonds1 said:

OzlemUcucu said: Feel like this too...loved the picture Both the sun and the moon setting in the ocean reminds me of Prince.

nod

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

Thanks so much for sharing your beautifully poetic descriptions of Prince in nature. He was a force of nature, so it is fitting to find him in nature! "This is it"

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Reply #91 posted 09/25/16 3:40pm

TrivialPursuit

avatar

Vannormal said:

I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.

And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.


I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

Just when U think U've got more than enough, that's when it all up and flies away.
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Reply #92 posted 09/25/16 4:00pm

Lovejunky

I have "Accepted"reluctantly...

Everybody is saying he is gone...its all over, slapping my face left and right...

but "Closure" ?

I dont know....

I cant help wonder if Id be feeling differently If Prince had left his Body in his sleep ?

Talking to a NEW friend of mine this morning..one I met because of LOVE for HIM...

We talk daily, check in with our feelings....She had been thinking deeply about the relevance of his life...

THese words came to her

"Live life, go on, and take me with u.

If I hold this in my mind...well...

THats as close to closure as I think I am ever going to get....


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Reply #93 posted 09/25/16 4:02pm

malbena

TrivialPursuit said:

Vannormal said:

I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.

And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.


I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #94 posted 09/25/16 4:02pm

Lovejunky

yeahthat

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Reply #95 posted 09/25/16 4:13pm

OzlemUcucu

avatar

malbena said:

OzlemUcucu said:

nod

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

Wow! What a profound description smile

I say you should write a poem smile and share with us.

biggrin

I am not good at it at all, but I just described the feeling I had when I saw the huge red sunset the other day. I felt a different grasp of breath for a moment. When I closed my eyes I felt all what he must have meant to me, in my universe - while the sun lights were reflecting in a unique way. It felt good looking at the distance thinking / feeling he is out there still shining on us. We know he was one of a kind. He is the biggest star out there in the universe. I am very content knowing this now. I don't have to worry anymore. It used to be too dark around him.

lol You can tell I am missing Prince, right?!

Prince I will always miss and love U.
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Reply #96 posted 09/25/16 4:19pm

malbena

OzlemUcucu said:

malbena said:

Wow! What a profound description smile

I say you should write a poem smile and share with us.

biggrin

I am not good at it at all, but I just described the feeling I had when I saw the huge red sunset the other day. I felt a different grasp of breath for a moment. When I closed my eyes I felt all what he must have meant to me, in my universe - while the sun lights were reflecting in a unique way. It felt good looking at the distance thinking / feeling he is out there still shining on us. We know he was one of a kind. He is the biggest star out there in the universe. I am very content knowing this now. I don't have to worry anymore. It used to be too dark around him.

lol You can tell I am missing Prince, right?!

We all do and many believe they'll never find closure and will miss and remember him for the rest of their lives. He has touched fans in so many ways and for so long. He will forever remain in many people's heart.

I like your personal illlustration and connection with the sunset...what a feeling!

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #97 posted 09/25/16 5:52pm

StopIt

NO, but we are strong and he has given us enough.

We can live with awful realities such as this, and do him proud.

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Reply #98 posted 09/25/16 7:34pm

ldmendes

avatar

OzlemUcucu said:

PurpleDiamonds1 said:

OzlemUcucu said: Feel like this too...loved the picture Both the sun and the moon setting in the ocean reminds me of Prince.

nod

I know why he reminds me of the sunet.

He was huge yet smooth like a quiet ocean. Distant yet very near with his sparkling lights reflecting on the ocean. A very unique special human being. He touched me with his art in so many ways that no one else could have. I am so glad that I was part of this fan experience for such a long time. It's been a good journey with Prince. God I am getting a little poetic now, but I begin to miss him more every day.

This sunset reminds me that Prince is everywhere shining bright, warm and alive. He is a part of everything that exists and lives. It must be what ecstasy feels like. However I do miss his earthly presents and I’m sad I won’t be able to anticipate what he’s up to next. Plus I have to let go of the idea that I might meet him some day cry sigh

..Hello, who is it?
Yes, this is a prettyman, Princey!
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Reply #99 posted 09/25/16 8:08pm

morningsong

I feel the beginnings of a fissure, that's about it.
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Reply #100 posted 09/25/16 10:01pm

rosylo

1Sasha said:

One way to channel grief is to help others in many ways. I don't have much free time so I end up donating, and now I do it in loving memory of Prince Rogers Nelson. Most recently, I had a large brick engraved with his name; the brick is to be installed in a community center courtyard. You could support the local animal rescue, or arts programs for children. All in his memory.

This is one of the most beautiful posts I've read on the org, thank you for sharing.

[Edited 9/28/16 22:42pm]

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Reply #101 posted 09/25/16 11:18pm

audience1

No! It's gonna take a while. Although not the same terrible pain as losing a family member or dear friend, it is the worse I've ever felt over the loss of someone I did not know personally. I still find myself thinking about Prince and nodding my head in disbelief. Still a little surreal.

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Reply #102 posted 09/25/16 11:50pm

Kara

avatar

SquirrelMeat said:

I don't believe in 'closure' as a mindset, so I'm going to sit myself in the very comfortable zone of 'blissful constant denial'.


That's me. neutral
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Reply #103 posted 09/26/16 12:20am

BillieBalloon

malbena said:



OzlemUcucu said:




malbena said:





Wow! What a profound description smile


I say you should write a poem smile and share with us.





biggrin


I am not good at it at all, but I just described the feeling I had when I saw the huge red sunset the other day. I felt a different grasp of breath for a moment. When I closed my eyes I felt all what he must have meant to me, in my universe - while the sun lights were reflecting in a unique way. It felt good looking at the distance thinking / feeling he is out there still shining on us. We know he was one of a kind. He is the biggest star out there in the universe. I am very content knowing this now. I don't have to worry anymore. It used to be too dark around him.



lol You can tell I am missing Prince, right?!







We all do and many believe they'll never find closure and will miss and remember him for the rest of their lives. He has touched fans in so many ways and for so long. He will forever remain in many people's heart.



I like your personal illlustration and connection with the sunset...what a feeling!




Eventually people will move forward and accept his death but they will remember him..think of him at times in their lives.. for the rest of their lives. I will never forget him.
Baby, you're a star.

Meet me in another world, space and joy
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Reply #104 posted 09/26/16 1:12am

novabrkr

No.

I thought I would, but when I listen to him ("Starfish & Coffee" is currently playing) I just can't seem to be able to think that the guy singing the vocals is dead.

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Reply #105 posted 09/26/16 11:39am

Vannormal

avatar

malbena said:[quote]



TrivialPursuit said:




Vannormal said:



I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.


And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.






I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.




What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

[/quote
There aren't helpful ways I'm affraid. The only thing that can help is what you think is best for you to do. Guidance by others often is a (very) bad solution.
Try to rely on yourself. If you're truely honest with yourself, you know how to deal with it. smile
[Edited 9/26/16 11:50am]
"...no matter what, all will be fine, always."
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Reply #106 posted 09/26/16 11:44am

panpac777

avatar

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?

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Reply #107 posted 09/26/16 11:53am

OzlemUcucu

avatar

Vannormal said:

malbena said:

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

(Sorry fore that typo there. I'm not English or American... I'm just a Belgian who's only good in Dutch and French.) wink you probably will find more... smile - What I meant with the use of the frase/term "getting over it", is that it's basically impossible to arrive somewhere in time with a certain peaceful acceptance to someone dear to you who passed away. My mother did 23 years ago, my best fiend 25 years ago, and some others dear to me during the past decade. Probably it also has something to do with my age. At a certain point in your life you start to 'lose' more people around you, that comes with life. So, I learned one thing, grief is absolutely personal, and everyone has the right to experience it in a very personal way. Maybe private even if you like. That's how I deal with loss and pain. (depends how one copes with real emotions within oneself). I personally only talk about it to the ones I trust, love. It's also vice-versa. I'll never take private space and time of others I don't know well for that matter. No matter how open they are towards me. I don't really believe in group grieve either. Although I'm prettty sure it works for others. My personal grief about Prince his dead hasnt even started... It'll take time, you know that horrible matrix, time. I understand he's dead ! Very dead by the way. Boom ! A couple of hours later even cremated and all ! Wiped off the earth, just like... that ? Unbelievable, but a sad dry truth. I'm hoping for a new album to arrrive, some sign a fan likes. Something to ease the pain a bit. Prince was a lot about to new music. Just like he was all about being a great performer. So, No concerts anymore no new music at least for now. It's all about that. Least for me. My grief will start there somewhere I think.... don't know...

Cremation within 24 hours is a very cold thing to do. It's even more brutal to do an autopsy immediately within 12 hours. They usually do that kind of thing if someone was butchered and it was a crime scene.HE did not even have a chance to come back even if... How they managed this is in itself an absolute brutality. I never heard anything like this happening before thank God.

Prince I will always miss and love U.
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Reply #108 posted 09/26/16 11:54am

2020

avatar

Visited MPLS a few weeks ago and made the trip out to PP, FirstAve, Uptown etc and it helped a bit with more acceptance but closure???

NO WAY.

The greatest live performer of our times was is and always will be Prince.

Remember there is only one destination and that place is U
All of it. Everything. Is U.
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Reply #109 posted 09/26/16 11:57am

Mumio

avatar

panpac777 said:

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?



Easy there panpac777. There was no ill will intended by the original poster, there's nothing wrong with showing and voicing concern over how fellow orgers are doing with their healing process. I'm sending you a hug because you need it hug comfort

[Edited 9/26/16 11:59am]

Welcome to "the org", Mumio…they can have you, but I'll have your love in the end nod
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Reply #110 posted 09/26/16 12:12pm

Vannormal

avatar

TrivialPursuit said:



Vannormal said:



I only want to add this: when you lose [sp] somebody dear to you, close or far, you will never ever get over it. No one really does. And that's OK. You'll (try to) accept after (some) time what's missing, but the missing itself will remain (for a long time) either painful or acceptable. The lack of that particular love or friendship is irreplaceable. And all that is OK too. That's just all life is about.


And melodrama (basically always) says a lot more about your own state of attention or being than the situation you're trying to show and how to deal with it.






I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.



(Sorry fore that typo there. I'm not English or American... I'm just a Belgian who's only good in Dutch and French.) wink you probably will find more... smile
-
What I meant with the use of the frase/term "getting over it", is that it's basically impossible to arrive somewhere in time with a certain true peaceful acceptance for someone dear to you who passed away.
My mother did 23 years ago, my best fiend 25 years ago, and some others dear to me during the past decade. Probably it also has something to do with my age. At a certain point in your life you start to 'lose' more people around you, that's life. So, I learned one thing, grief is absolutely personal, and everyone has the right to experience it his or hers very personal way. Even very private if you like. That's how I deal with loss and pain, that's how I am. (All depends how one copes with real emotions within oneself. Not the influenced emotions you show to others). I personally only talk about it to the ones I really truely trust, and love. It's also vice-versa. I'll never take private space and time of others I don't know well for that matter. No matter how open they are towards me. I don't really believe in group grieve either. Although I'm pretty sure it works for others.
My personal grief about Prince his dead hasnt even started... It'll take time, you know that horrible matrix, time. I understand he's dead ! I accept it, as fact. Very dead by the way. Boom ! A couple of hours later even cremate and all ! Wiped off the earth, just like... that ? Unbelievable, but a sad dry truth.
And I hate it when people say that he is happy in heaven with all the others and stuff. There is no such thing as heaven or a God. This certainly is my very own personal and humble opinion. :-/ Prince is dead, it's over. For those who believe in some god, well, they can do what they want but they just have to leave me alone. I hate it when people shove up their believes down everyone's throat's unasked just like that. I just don't like it ! Believing in whatever religious experience you have should be a private matter. A Very very very private matter. Just like taking drugs or fucking an Ikea table. Who cares anyway... But don't get me wrong I don't hate them. I will never try to hate something I don't understand. It's just that I really really don't like it. For me it's on the same level as being impolite with others in public. It was also something that I absolutely dislike (but somehow tolerated) about Prince. My personal humble opinion about this is that it!ruined a lot for him during his last two decades. Whatever. He did what he did and it's even not up to me to have an opinion about it. But hear me talking hear now. smile))
-
I'm hoping for a new album to arrrive, something of a sign a fan likes. Something to ease the ununderstandable a bit. Prince was a lot about new music all the time. Just like he was all about being a great performer "all the time!" So, No concerts anymore no new music at least for now.
It's all about that... having to give in that it's over. At Least for me. My grief will start there somewhere I think.... I don't know.
"...no matter what, all will be fine, always."
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Reply #111 posted 09/26/16 1:11pm

malbena

Vannormal said:

malbena said:


I think the term "getting over it" is indicative of not feeling anything anymore, and not caring; like not getting a promotion or missing out on the homemade donuts at the farmer's market. That's why it's a dangerous approach and term in situations like this. That's why I said these are the cards on the table. This is the hand you're dealt, and you must play the cards. It's about accepting the new norm, which in this case is Prince not being alive. There's always going to be some pain, but I do believe that eventually the good outweighs the bad again, and our discomfort is minimal compared to the annals of memories.

Agreed about melodrama. It seems a bit distracting to constantly read "can't talk, more tears, can't believe it's real, day is ruined". Yes well, believe it. Not believing it won't change it. I question some fan's actual tearful moments. Some, not all.

But again, I agree that while grief is a personal process, that type of melodrama only reinforces the distraction from reality in someone's head. But, that's their own burden to carry.

What are some ways you two find helpful in dealing with the loss of Prince in your daily lives?

[/quote There aren't helpful ways I'm affraid. The only thing that can help is what you think is best for you to do. Guidance by others often is a (very) bad solution. Try to rely on yourself. If you're truely honest with yourself, you know how to deal with it. smile [Edited 9/26/16 11:50am]

Not always a bad solution! OzlemUcucu has written a nice note after looking at the sunset. This inspired me to write and expres feelings that way. Someone else has mentioned accepting instead of closure and moving on with it. I find these are powerful ways that can help.

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #112 posted 09/26/16 1:12pm

malbena

panpac777 said:

Like F No!

Like where have u been since 4/21?

Seriously

Did u have to ask?

See Mumio's perfect response to your questions.

[Edited 9/26/16 13:26pm]

This is my normal life. These marital standards cannot be recreated with money.
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Reply #113 posted 09/26/16 1:16pm

Genesia

avatar

OzlemUcucu said:

Vannormal said:

malbena said: (Sorry fore that typo there. I'm not English or American... I'm just a Belgian who's only good in Dutch and French.) wink you probably will find more... smile - What I meant with the use of the frase/term "getting over it", is that it's basically impossible to arrive somewhere in time with a certain peaceful acceptance to someone dear to you who passed away. My mother did 23 years ago, my best fiend 25 years ago, and some others dear to me during the past decade. Probably it also has something to do with my age. At a certain point in your life you start to 'lose' more people around you, that comes with life. So, I learned one thing, grief is absolutely personal, and everyone has the right to experience it in a very personal way. Maybe private even if you like. That's how I deal with loss and pain. (depends how one copes with real emotions within oneself). I personally only talk about it to the ones I trust, love. It's also vice-versa. I'll never take private space and time of others I don't know well for that matter. No matter how open they are towards me. I don't really believe in group grieve either. Although I'm prettty sure it works for others. My personal grief about Prince his dead hasnt even started... It'll take time, you know that horrible matrix, time. I understand he's dead ! Very dead by the way. Boom ! A couple of hours later even cremated and all ! Wiped off the earth, just like... that ? Unbelievable, but a sad dry truth. I'm hoping for a new album to arrrive, some sign a fan likes. Something to ease the pain a bit. Prince was a lot about to new music. Just like he was all about being a great performer. So, No concerts anymore no new music at least for now. It's all about that. Least for me. My grief will start there somewhere I think.... don't know...

Cremation within 24 hours is a very cold thing to do. It's even more brutal to do an autopsy immediately within 12 hours. They usually do that kind of thing if someone was butchered and it was a crime scene.HE did not even have a chance to come back even if... How they managed this is in itself an absolute brutality. I never heard anything like this happening before thank God.


Are you suggesting that Prince could have been revived? eek

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #114 posted 09/26/16 6:11pm

Mumio

avatar

Genesia said:


Are you suggesting that Prince could have been revived? eek



eek lol eek

Welcome to "the org", Mumio…they can have you, but I'll have your love in the end nod
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Reply #115 posted 09/26/16 8:09pm

AlgeriaTouchsh
reek

i wish i'd never kissed your lips, bearded lady
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Reply #116 posted 09/27/16 1:35pm

BreakfastCanWa
itXXX

OnlyNDaUsa said:

a few time I was on the verge of a break down (the most recent was Sep 18 after seeing the Tribute at the Viking's game and at the Emmy's) but I was with someone that is a little...less than understanding. A few other times i have almost lost it (again with this person) and I did not let go... the person would be jealous...



I completely understand how you feel. When I'm feeling sad about P I have to be alone or else my boyfriend will think I'm crazy. He too will get jealous, I'm sure. Even if he says he's not, I know it would make him feel a certain way about me still grieving over P. When I need to cry I make sure he's not around or sees me, which is why I haven't watched the Tribute at the Viking's game yet. I'll have to watch it when I'm alone this weekend.
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Reply #117 posted 09/27/16 2:45pm

clairew1975

Starrdust505 said:[quote]



TrivialPursuit said:


Closure is a construct, it's not real when dealing with death. You can't just close the love you have for someone because they're gone.

What is real is acceptance. Doesn't mean one has to love it, or like it. We often accept things we don't like, whether it's phone bills, shitty relatives, the Darth Vader voice on The Rainbow Children, or whatever.

We have to understand these are the cards on the table; this is the hand we've been dealt in the world of Prince. We have to play it. We can't fold out of this one. We can not buy a CD, but we do have to accept this. To deny this is real is to maneuver through an illusion. I get a bit weary of the "can't talk, tears again, unreal" melodrama.

Once we understand (stand under) the truth, then the journey to peace and appreciation can begin. Prince's own journey was his search for the truth, whatever it was. I think it's why he never said what "the truth" was because for each person it's different.

If we loved him, his music, and his life, then we should follow suit. Live in truth, appreciate what he did and the legacy we're all a part of, because in that he'll never be totally gone.




Beautifully worded.

For me I have accepted he has passed on. Does it hurt, hell yes, but in the same way I have grieved family members, I will think about him fondly, miss him & carry him with me as I move forward xx
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Reply #118 posted 09/27/16 4:25pm

LoneCrone

Wlcm2thdwn3 said:

I'm 63 years old and have loved Prince over half of my lifetime. My answer is NO. Maybe if there was something/someone that could take his place in this life, but there isn't, never will be.I can't move forward and I can't go back. So I come here. sad

[Edited 9/25/16 11:58am]

Exactly.

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Reply #119 posted 09/27/16 7:39pm

Telecaster5

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If acceptance is already hard, imagine closure...

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Forums > Prince: Music and More > Have you found acceptance or closure yet?