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Reply #150 posted 04/30/16 12:15am

delinquent

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darkroman said:

In a weird way, I sometimes drift in and out of believing this to be true.


.


It's hard to explain, I'll be at work doing what I do and I'll get an odd feeling that the last week has been a dream and that it isn't true and then I'll remember it is true, but still hope it was a mistake.


.


It's hard to explain and it occurs for just a couple of seconds.


.


I guess that's how grief can effect us.


.


I'm not entirely sure how to get closure as we don't have a funeral to be able to say a last goodbye.


.


On that note there is NO WAY I've been able to listen to the track Goodbye. I have totally been avoiding that one.


.


sad sad sad sad sad



.
.
.
This is exactly what I have done in my mind. I keep half-forgetting it and then it hits me again and again.
This is the only kind of love
That I've been dreaming of
The kind of love that takes over your
Body, mind, and soul
Love to the nines
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Reply #151 posted 04/30/16 1:38am

maleeboo

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I'm here. I haven't actively posted in years, I wanted to know there were people feeling the loss as I do. I can't process my feelings with my work colleagues constantly asking stupid questions or slagging him off.

I don't get aggro, I don't rely engage, I just feel sad and listen to music on my headphones in the hopes they'll move on .
'Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.'- Einstein
Dance on beautiful one
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Reply #152 posted 04/30/16 3:12am

Robert3rd

The moment I got the call from my mom, I went straight to acceptance. I dunno, but I've been preparing for 4/21 for the last three years. I nenver thought he would leave this world so soon, but there was also a large part of me that was bracing for a world without Prince. I can actually pinpoint it to a few years ago when I heard a snippet of the unreleased song "Go". When I heard the first verse of that song, I started to think of Prince as being mortal (even though the song has nothing to do with death) thinking to myself (like the words from Go):

"you don't have to explain. If you wanna go, I don't wanna know about it"

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Reply #153 posted 04/30/16 3:48am

purplemajesty2
3

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All...I can't fucking sleep. I listen to his albums and then forget he's passed, then I get an electric jolt and remember but it's like the first time I hear of it. Then I get pissed...end up just throwing things in my room.

But sometimes I swear he comes to me because I feel a sudden peace and joy like you feel after a Prince concert. I swear it... but I get depressed again.

I never was spiritual and I am not religious at all, but I am more open to spirituality because I swear on everyone I love's life that Prince came here. I didn't see him or anything, but I felt a very "Paisley Park" like joyful presence.

Idk, I might just be crazy though...

Purple Music is my drug and I'm jonesin!!!!!
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Reply #154 posted 04/30/16 11:24am

SteelPulse1

All these videos on YT damnit this is what i dreamed of seeing everyday n was so pod that we couldnt .. now I cant even watch them .. *(^$&%. God he was so damn watchable when he did new girl .. I loved seeing him in a movie .. .. fuck im pissed like nobodys buisness so YA .. ANGER n GRIEF

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Reply #155 posted 04/30/16 1:02pm

ToraToraDreams

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I cried the day I learned about it, then got over it.

But yesterday, I got drunk with a friend and started telling her how bad I felt for going to a concert in 2011 now that I know he was probably in pain and should have been retired or sitting in a chair for the duration. I kept saying, had I known, I'd have never gone and that I killed him bla bla bla.

It's crazy how some people give them selves up to their careers like that, especially artists.

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Reply #156 posted 04/30/16 8:36pm

thx185

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Depression and anger again after watching lots of amazing videos with my wife.. Sharing his music with her, who has never really seen his genius until now.. And reflecting on how very young 57 is.
"..free to change your mind"
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Reply #157 posted 04/30/16 8:38pm

thx185

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There should have been 20 more years.. dove
"..free to change your mind"
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Reply #158 posted 04/30/16 9:09pm

violectrica

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I'm stuck in anger until I find out why. How can I move on if I don't know why? There's no logic. Id rather believe he ran away from it all sad. It makes me one percent less mad to think he did that.
Trufax: My daddy told me the he and mom went to Purple Rain in a Seattle Theater. They were so moved by the movie that they went into the record store and bought the album immediately. They went home and conceived me.
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Reply #159 posted 04/30/16 9:27pm

DoItAllNight4U

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I'm still in denial a bit, but I'm feeling all the stages at the same time. Mostly anger though. I'm angry with A LOT of people.

It's creepy thinking about all the coincidences surrounding his death. I also keep thinking of all the premonitions I felt. I knew he was going to die months before he did but obviously I thought I was just thinking bullshit so I never took these thoughts seriously. Things happen for a reason. It's why I started to listen to him again a few months ago. My consciousness knew what was gonna happen.

"I was here in the beginning and I'll be here forever more"
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Reply #160 posted 04/30/16 9:30pm

SteelPulse1

thx185 said:

There should have been 20 more years.. dove



YES THIS DAMNIT ..
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Reply #161 posted 04/30/16 9:32pm

morningsong

Definitely not acceptance. This is not real, nope, can't be, nope.
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Reply #162 posted 04/30/16 10:02pm

dJJ

I'm still in denial.

Also, sometimes bargaining, considering that his joints and hips have signaled that they could not handle it, it makes sense that at one point his body shuts down.

I feel thankful for the concerts I have seen. Very happy about that.


But the reality of never going to a concert of him, has not landed fully yet.

99% of my posts are ironic. Maybe this post sides with the other 1%.
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Reply #163 posted 05/01/16 12:53am

bilbolives

I was stunned when I heard about it, and I think I still am. I live in the middle of nowhere and there are days when I wonder who else around here might understand. This site, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and Amazon have helped ease the pain a bit. When I read the "how many times have you seen Prince?" thread, the only logical answer is "not enough." I have listened to him throughout the past 10 days and watched two of his films. I find myself sifting through the news outlets to put together clues about the possible cause of death even though nothing's definitive yet and the investigation is still underway into what happened. "If long life is what we all live for, then long life will come to pass..." yet what happened? Can someone who understands please help me understand this all? Do you find yourself playing private eye and putting together a timeline and wanting to build a time machine to change what happened? I feel like, at minimum, until the police and medical investigations are completed, I won't have closure for weeks. Even if they open up Paisley Park to the public, he won't be there. Any advice would be appreciated. Sincerely, bilbolives

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Reply #164 posted 05/01/16 1:15am

Nikkigrrrll

I think I've been stuck in denial. I mean I was completely wrecked that day when I heard but I didn't really believe it.I absorbed it, but I don't think my brain fully processed it. If that makes any sense?I've been been difting in and out of it being "reality" and I know that sounds really...strange. But tonight at work I was listening to my music at my station, like I always do, and Gold came on and I just lost my mind. I had to excuse myself and go compose myself in the bathroom.My coworkers looked at me like I was psycopath for the rest of this evening. I think I'm just starting to come out of denial.
"I do nothing professionally, I do everything for fun."
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Reply #165 posted 05/01/16 2:14am

pyramidseye

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It's been 10 days now, I am slowly starting to accept his unfortunate passing. The pain never goes away but you get used to it.

~

I am feeling glad to have grown up with his music (a period of 32 years for me) and I'm thankful to him. Also, I'm grateful that his work is still with me and I'll be listening to it as long as I live or can hear.

"Cuz I've seen the top and it's just a dream"
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Reply #166 posted 05/01/16 4:44am

beatriceau

Denial. My brain just keeps shouting out Noooo in waves as the realisation hits again. I feel like the rest of the world have moved on and that it is soon going to appear ridiculous that I am still upset. The crying has diminished a bit thought which is good.

[Edited 5/1/16 4:45am]

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Reply #167 posted 05/01/16 10:33am

Bohemian67

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From anger back to denial. Am listening to the music again. Shuffle helps but he's so everywhere here with every tune I just can't believe it. Maybe I just don't want to. Sigh..... Too freaky all of this.
"Free URself, B the best that U can B, 3rd Apartment from the Sun, nothing left to fear" Prince Rogers Nelson - Forever in my Life -
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Reply #168 posted 05/01/16 12:28pm

tish9311

I have added a new stage to grief, CRAZY. I have been on ebay and all kinds of sites looking for anything thing of Princes that I don't have that I can buy. I even bought a new Purple Rain cd, just like the one I haven't listend to in years!!!!! CRAZY. the amount of time I have spent on ebay-setting my phone to remind me to check on items I want to bid on. I almost bought a RIP Prince t-shirt, lucky for me the vendor was out of my size. I hate those things, it brings more emphasis to death and not life. So that being said, I need to go an balance my checkbook and see what I will be eating for the next few months.

Beautiful, Loved and Blessed

Thank You Prince
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Reply #169 posted 05/01/16 12:58pm

isobelfq

I'm so very sad. I miss him terribly and at times I can't deal with too much of his music or seeing old interviews or watching old performances. But sometimes a memory from one of his live performances will resurface in my mind and it will make me happy and I'll smile and love him with all of my heart. So I'm not sure of the stage. I know i'm past denial but I'm still grappling with the other 3 before acceptance. I know i've said this before but I feel like i've been grieving for a million days. I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" again.

Join me under the waterfall
Climb the rainbow tree

love is my color when I am shown love in return
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Reply #170 posted 05/01/16 12:59pm

isobelfq

SteelPulse1 said:

thx185 said:
There should have been 20 more years.. dove
YES THIS DAMNIT ..

Nah...I wanteed to see him at least until I was well into my 60's so...30 more years?

Join me under the waterfall
Climb the rainbow tree

love is my color when I am shown love in return
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Reply #171 posted 05/01/16 6:40pm

SteelPulse1

isobelfq said:



SteelPulse1 said:


thx185 said:
There should have been 20 more years.. dove

YES THIS DAMNIT ..

Nah...I wanteed to see him at least until I was well into my 60's so...30 more years?



Yes this too damnit
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Reply #172 posted 05/03/16 2:13pm

ciilo20

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In denial and bargaining,if i go to sleep i think about him and even when i wake up. sad

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Reply #173 posted 05/03/16 2:20pm

SapereAude

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All of the above? I really dont know where I am... stuck at the corner of depression, intersecting with anger?

I can tell you where I WANT to be though. I want to be at a point where I can get through one song without losing it. Where I can hear the message behind the lyrics & not the frenzied noise the media tries to inject in my head. I want to respect death & the general nature of life, even in the absence of logic. I want to hear that Prince believed in making the world a better place, & that he didn't die in vain & his essence wont be tarnished or carried away by speculation. I want to preserve his good memory.

I want to trust that he was fulfilled & on track with his destiny, & eventhough he died prematurely, that his 57 years on this Earth were equal to "the love he made/gave." I keep thinking of a meteor that falls too fast, but boy does it ever burn beautifully! Maybe a short life is the price one pays for living every second to the fullest?

It does give me satisfaction knowing that the only thing that could presumably stop that wonderful enigma of a man from creating is... death. Think of all the crap he went through with Warner Bros (albeit some of it being self inflicted), & all the other stuff that whirled around in his personal storm. Did he let it stop him? Hell no, cuzin!

Released VAULT material will be his last proverbial, "F*ck you!" to death. Even in death he will accomplish what many cannot/could not in life. He was throwing every inch of his being into what he loved right til the end, if that doesn't tell you something about how amazing the human spirit is, I don't know what will.

He may not belong under our Earthly sky anymore, but he left so much of himself behind. THAT is a blessing. Many people who've lost loved ones lack that privilege, sometimes so much falls between the cracks & slips away. Prince's legacy is tangible. Transient. In that respect I'd consider us all lucky...but that does not by any means dismiss how difficult this is, which is why I am so grateful for this forum, it's a cushioning safe haven. I'd like to believe that we are united in our "love" for Prince, so we can share a common thread of hope as well. Hugs to all!!
"All the world is faith, trust and pixie dust...''

rose Love gets in my eyes, yet I can see clearer than I've ever seen yes
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Reply #174 posted 05/03/16 2:26pm

SteelPulse1

Sadly im moving on.
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Reply #175 posted 05/03/16 2:43pm

DarlingKris

Depression but also anger. I want to know why he was taken from us so soon. He should still be here sad

Forever In My Life, forever in my heart. I love you Prince Rogers Nelson heart
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Reply #176 posted 05/03/16 2:54pm

morningsong

Everyday is better, but the anger stays since I don't know what to be angry about, I'm just angry about anything and everything. I think I now understand what bargaining is and was surprised how easy one slips into it. I can see acceptance on the horizon. Not looking forward to the day when I'm casually going about my business and thinking about this isn't a daily event, to suddenly wonder what's up with Prince as I've been doing for years only to instantly remember those days are gone.

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Reply #177 posted 05/03/16 3:19pm

xRachx

Deep depression
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Reply #178 posted 05/03/16 3:57pm

CherryMoon57

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Been through all those stages and could not move on from the deep depression / exhaustion stage for a while. I wasn't able to eat anything for many days. Then I felt angry and hurt, like a chunk of my life had been suddenly and violently removed. This lasted many days, and not being back on here yet, I didn't really know where to turn, or who to speak to. Many people around me even laughed at my reaction, as some sort of awkward way of cheering me up. Some understood a little bit more when I told them how I had actually met him. Some believed me, many probably didn't. My husband knew, but felt jealous that Prince had had such an impact in my life, so he didn't want to hear anything about him.

Overall I felt very alone and it was a suffocating feeling. But now, a few more days have passed, and being on here and reading all those posts, linking all of us to this amazing and unique being, is somewhat leading me gently towards the acceptance stage, with a new sense of mission: to continue embracing his vision, to enjoy, share and spread his music. I am even feeling very inspired to start creating something (songwriting, music, painting) in connection with Prince and what he meant to me.

Life Matters
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Reply #179 posted 05/03/16 6:26pm

isobelfq

I relapsed. I'm back in denial. The pain got to be too much.

Join me under the waterfall
Climb the rainbow tree

love is my color when I am shown love in return
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