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Thread started 01/16/20 1:30pm

alphastreet

Let’s talk about narcissism

Have you ever met one? I went out with one 10 years ago and it was messy
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Reply #1 posted 01/16/20 3:20pm

PeggyO

Narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent, at least in the US.

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Reply #2 posted 01/16/20 3:23pm

alphastreet

PeggyO said:


Narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent, at least in the US.




I wonder if that has to do with trump lol
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Reply #3 posted 01/16/20 3:48pm

S2DG

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

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Reply #4 posted 01/16/20 3:57pm

alphastreet

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.



Sorry to hear that, must be difficult
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Reply #5 posted 01/16/20 4:22pm

spacedolphin

avatar

Several in the past few years alone. Social media, echo chambers/hugboxes, poor emotional and mental support, diminishing authority structures, lack of balanced bullying in high school, etc contribute a lot to their issues.

music I'm afraid of Americans. I'm afraid of the world. music
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Reply #6 posted 01/16/20 7:36pm

RJP1205

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.


Me too! I've known my bro-in-law for 18 years during which time he's never held a job for more than 2years, thinks whatever he is doing is sooo impressive, literally puts kids on his sports teams based on the parents he thinks he can impress. Every time he quits a job he's got to make a big announcement about all the whys.
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Reply #7 posted 01/16/20 8:38pm

S2DG

alphastreet said:

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

Sorry to hear that, must be difficult


Please don't be sorry. I didn't pick him, my wife's sister did. lol

I've dealt with people like this my whole life. Once I wrapped my head around what was going on and stopped thinking it had anything to do with me, I was able to deal with them without emotional reactions.

It's exhausting to spend time with people like this as you can't just relax around them.

The positive is that they give me another level of appreciation for the good people and the time I spend with them.

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Reply #8 posted 01/16/20 8:43pm

S2DG

RJP1205 said:

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

Me too! I've known my bro-in-law for 18 years during which time he's never held a job for more than 2years, thinks whatever he is doing is sooo impressive, literally puts kids on his sports teams based on the parents he thinks he can impress. Every time he quits a job he's got to make a big announcement about all the whys.


Asshole brother-in-laws must be a thing! lol

Don't get me started about the asshole in my life's career, it's a long list that he's the best in. lol

My niece and nephew are guaranteed to need therapy from having him as a father. Not sure what anyone can do except be adult in their life who is not like their father.

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Reply #9 posted 01/17/20 1:55am

KingBAD

alphastreet said:

Have you ever met one? I went out with one 10 years ago and it was messy

"would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"

i don't even know you...

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #10 posted 01/17/20 3:09am

PeggyO

Certain professions tend to attract them as well; Law, Medicine, Entertainment, Politics, Religion.

There is a need for continual validation and a craving for power and control.

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Reply #11 posted 01/17/20 3:31am

PeggyO

S2DG said:

RJP1205 said:

S2DG said: Me too! I've known my bro-in-law for 18 years during which time he's never held a job for more than 2years, thinks whatever he is doing is sooo impressive, literally puts kids on his sports teams based on the parents he thinks he can impress. Every time he quits a job he's got to make a big announcement about all the whys.


Asshole brother-in-laws must be a thing! lol

Don't get me started about the asshole in my life's career, it's a long list that he's the best in. lol

My niece and nephew are guaranteed to need therapy from having him as a father. Not sure what anyone can do except be adult in their life who is not like their father.

Just to even the score, I have a sister-in-law like this. My brother has 'disappeared' under her reign.

Her daughter is strong but I worry about the impact on her son. My brother does not intervene.

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Reply #12 posted 01/17/20 8:25am

2freaky4church
1

avatar

In the end it is about self esteem

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #13 posted 01/17/20 8:34am

Empress

I've met several over the years. The current US president is one!

[Edited 1/17/20 8:36am]

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Reply #14 posted 01/17/20 10:16am

PeggyO

Empress said:

I've met several over the years. The current US president is one!

[Edited 1/17/20 8:36am]

Yes!

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Reply #15 posted 01/17/20 10:31am

alphastreet

S2DG said:



alphastreet said:


S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.



Sorry to hear that, must be difficult


Please don't be sorry. I didn't pick him, my wife's sister did. lol

I've dealt with people like this my whole life. Once I wrapped my head around what was going on and stopped thinking it had anything to do with me, I was able to deal with them without emotional reactions.

It's exhausting to spend time with people like this as you can't just relax around them.

The positive is that they give me another level of appreciation for the good people and the time I spend with them.



Good on you for knowing how to handle it!
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Reply #16 posted 01/17/20 4:41pm

EmmaMcG

avatar

Have I ever met one? I WAS one.
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Reply #17 posted 01/17/20 6:41pm

PeggyO

From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.

I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.

Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.

I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)

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Reply #18 posted 01/18/20 1:27am

EmmaMcG

avatar

PeggyO said:


From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.


I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.



Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.


I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)



Whereas some of this is true in my case, I don't think it's the only reason for my former narcissism. In fact, the main reason is that, at the end of the day, I was just a bitch 😂
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Reply #19 posted 01/18/20 5:26am

PeggyO

It seems there is a spectrum of narcissistic traits; I doubt you have full-on narcissistic personality disorder, as I thought that was a more or less permanent condition.

EmmaMcG said:

PeggyO said:

From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.

I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.

Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.

I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)

Whereas some of this is true in my case, I don't think it's the only reason for my former narcissism. In fact, the main reason is that, at the end of the day, I was just a bitch 😂

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Reply #20 posted 01/18/20 6:30am

EmmaMcG

avatar

PeggyO said:


It seems there is a spectrum of narcissistic traits; I doubt you have full-on narcissistic personality disorder, as I thought that was a more or less permanent condition.





EmmaMcG said:


PeggyO said:


From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.


I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.



Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.


I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)




Whereas some of this is true in my case, I don't think it's the only reason for my former narcissism. In fact, the main reason is that, at the end of the day, I was just a bitch 😂




No, probably not. But if you look up the word narcissism in the dictionary and see it's description "excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance", well that pretty much described the teenage me perfectly. Two things snapped me out of it. First, my ex boyfriend (still my best friend) told me to get a grip and stop being such a "C" word (it was nowhere near as harsh as it would appear) and the second thing was the birth of my daughter. After she was born, everything changed.

As for full on narcissistic personality disorder, no I don't believe I have or ever had that. My older sister definitely does. No doubt about that. She's basically an attractive 32 year old female version of Donald Trump.
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Reply #21 posted 01/18/20 9:45am

alphastreet

Thanks for sharing Emma, it’s good you overcame those tendencies

I also don’t know how I didn’t see it for years, but mj is a narcissist too
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Reply #22 posted 01/20/20 7:50am

Genesia

avatar

PeggyO said:

Narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent, at least in the US.


Citation for this?

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #23 posted 01/20/20 8:28am

Genesia

avatar

PeggyO said:

Certain professions tend to attract them as well; Law, Medicine, Entertainment, Politics, Religion.

There is a need for continual validation and a craving for power and control.


Citation needed.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #24 posted 01/25/20 10:39am

alphastreet

I also want to see the article it came from!
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Reply #25 posted 01/28/20 6:07am

PeggyO

alphastreet said:

I also want to see the article it came from!

I've been interested in the study of narcissism for a long time. I thought it was well-known that certain fields attract narcissists.

There are many articles on this phenomenon...best to teach ourselves.

Let me know what y'all find and I'd be happy to engage but I don't want to be teacher today.

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Reply #26 posted 01/28/20 11:11am

Genesia

avatar

PeggyO said:

alphastreet said:

I also want to see the article it came from!

I've been interested in the study of narcissism for a long time. I thought it was well-known that certain fields attract narcissists.

There are many articles on this phenomenon...best to teach ourselves.

Let me know what y'all find and I'd be happy to engage but I don't want to be teacher today.


In other words, "I was talking out of my ass and don't feel like backing it up."

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #27 posted 01/28/20 7:45pm

alphastreet

lol
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Reply #28 posted 01/30/20 7:47am

KoolEaze

avatar

spacedolphin said:

Several in the past few years alone. Social media, echo chambers/hugboxes, poor emotional and mental support, diminishing authority structures, lack of balanced bullying in high school, etc contribute a lot to their issues.

So, in an age of unchecked police brutality and high school bullying and high school shootings you want a stricter, more authoritarian society and more bullying in high school ?

Seriously ?

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"
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Reply #29 posted 01/30/20 8:59pm

gollygirl

avatar

Funny I read an article on this last week about Narcissim and the "experts" say there is an increase in it and blame much of it on Social Media (such as Instagram) as people post photos of themselves and look for validation and it inflates egos and gives one a feeling of self importance.

They said that people on Insta if they don't get enough "likes" or such also get really depressed and even angry about it ................

eek

Thank you Prince for every note you left behind 💜
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