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Forums > General Discussion > Were Your Parents/Parent Strict With You and Are You a Strict Parent?
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Thread started 08/19/17 1:25pm

Dalia11

Were Your Parents/Parent Strict With You and Are You a Strict Parent?

My mother was strict with me and I was her youngest kid. I do not have kids. If I did/will have, I would be a strict parent.

In one of my psychology classes, intro to child psychology, I learned that around age 24 is when a young adults brain if fully developed and able to make more rational decisions, etc.

In being strict I mean: strict with rules. I was never hit/beaten and I do not agree with beating children. That causes a lot of emotional and psychological scars for the child and they last forever.
[Edited 8/20/17 10:55am]
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Reply #1 posted 08/19/17 2:50pm

uPtoWnNY

Nothing wrong with being a strict parent at all, I grew up in the South Bronx during the 60s & 70s. Looking back, I'm glad I had a stern father to keep me & my brother on the right path. I didn't care for those ass-whippins & lectures then, but I appreciate them now. I have no kids, but my brother raised his the same way, with love & discipline.

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Reply #2 posted 08/19/17 5:38pm

Dalia11

UnptownNY, Shout out to the South Bronx, where Hip Hop Originated! I went to Roosevelt High School, Bronx Community College and took some classes at Lehman. I love the Bronx! I am from Brooklyn.
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Reply #3 posted 08/19/17 11:05pm

KingBAD

yes/no

i am KING BAD!!!
you are NOT...
evilking
"KingBAD, well you are just a troll" (an emotional fan)
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Reply #4 posted 08/20/17 6:44am

SPYZFAN1

My parents were very strict with my brother and I...We came from the "You better have your ass home when the streetlights come on" generation...My brother is strict with his kids and my parents think it's wrong for him to be that way...I tell them they seem to forget how they were with us when we were kids....I will say that the firmness, spankings and 2 hour lectures kept us out of trouble down the road.

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Reply #5 posted 08/20/17 8:19am

EmmaMcG

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My mum was strict but only about certain things. As long as it wasn't illegal, we could do it.

As for my own parenting, my daughter would probably think I'm strict. I've never had reason to hit her, she's a good girl, and even if she did mis-behave I couldn't bring myself to do it. All I have to do is imply that I'm disappointed with her when she does something wrong and she's very apologetic. I hope she stays that way...
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Reply #6 posted 08/20/17 9:23am

sonshine

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My parents weren't real strict yet we still learned right from wrong. I also not real strict, but the father of my children is. Idk i guess i turned out alright for not being hit/spanked as a child. And my kids are fairly decent human beings. Their father didn't have to lay his hands on them much, if at all, but he didn't have to. They were scared to death of him. He has a menacing way about him. He doled out plenty of punishments for them tho. It was mostly via a combination of physical labor and humiliation.
My step-daughter on the other hand has never heard the word "no" from either of her parents. She never had to do anything she didn't want to do, had no rules or boundaries. And she is a hot mess. Kids need discipline. Whether it needs to be beating on the kids is debatable. I think setting the example you want your kids to follow is the most important piece when it comes to kids and their behaviors.
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #7 posted 08/20/17 11:05am

2freaky4church
1

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My dad was tough but also let me drink a beer. lol

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #8 posted 08/20/17 1:56pm

MoBettaBliss

i discipline my children... but i don't hit them.... ever

i also spend a lot of quality time with them

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Reply #9 posted 08/20/17 4:07pm

214

I don't have children nor do i wish to have, but my parents never were strict with me, never... now i wish they were a little bit. But they didn't need to, i was a good guy, and they gave me the freedom to be whatever i wanted to be.

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Reply #10 posted 08/20/17 4:20pm

Dalia11

And I was Never Stupid! There was no reason for my mother to be strict with me. She should have been strict with my older sister but she was not.
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Reply #11 posted 08/20/17 8:19pm

purplethunder3
121

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MoBettaBliss said:

i discipline my children... but i don't hit them.... ever

i also spend a lot of quality time with them

Yeah, that belt shit I was subjected to is archaic. I stopped hand-spanking my kid when he was young when I realized I was turning into my father. He grew up to be a great guy... heart

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #12 posted 08/20/17 9:14pm

Dalia11

And the older generation didn't know that beating kids would cause emotional and psychological harm to the kids. They did it because it happened to them and it became a pattern.
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Reply #13 posted 08/20/17 9:21pm

purplethunder3
121

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Dalia11 said:

And the older generation didn't know that beating kids would cause emotional and psychological harm to the kids. They did it because it happened to them and it became a pattern.

Totally.

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Reply #14 posted 08/21/17 12:02pm

jillybean

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My dad was strict. I couldn't watch Love Boat or Fantasy Island as a child because Love Boat had unmarried people shared cabins, and Fantasy Island had the word 'fantasy' in the title. My brothers and I had to listen to 'secular' music in secret. My friend's mom handmade her Barbie's clothes because the clothes Barbie dressed in were "too risque" according to her parents. I guess strictness is subjective. I don't have any children.

"She made me glad to be a man"
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Reply #15 posted 08/21/17 12:41pm

morningsong

Yes and somewhat. The adult to child ratio was much different so I could get away with almost nothing, eyes everywhere. Even the neighbors told on me if they saw me doing my parents didn't approve of. I was stricter with mine than most parents of their peers but they were freer to choose things, like I may not take them to see certain movies but I knew they got to see them anyway because they went with the friends parents and would tell me, I would have never told my parents/guardians I did something they may not have approved of.

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Reply #16 posted 08/21/17 12:55pm

kpowers

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Mom was strict, Dad left

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Reply #17 posted 08/21/17 1:50pm

Dalia11

My dad also left.
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Reply #18 posted 08/21/17 2:03pm

2freaky4church
1

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Explains the Steelers.

All you others say Hell Yea!! woot!
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Reply #19 posted 08/21/17 2:10pm

214

My dad never left, he was always there, much to my regret, i wish he would have left us alone. He used to beat my mom, but my mom was nobody's fool, she hitted back, he was stronger, though.

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Reply #20 posted 08/21/17 2:28pm

Dalia11

And children who grow up in broken homes are negatively affected emotionally. And the children who witness their parent being physically abused.
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Reply #21 posted 08/21/17 2:48pm

morningsong

Always the oddball out. I was predominately raised by my father without my mother. Predominately because he was navy and spent a lot of time overseas while I remained stationary which means I had various guardians in my life while he was gone.

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Reply #22 posted 08/21/17 3:31pm

PennyPurple

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My parents spanked me. My mom always said it was my mouth that got me into trouble. neutral


Parents split. Dad had a new family and step mom didn't like me. Mom got remarried, step dad was overly strict with me, because I was the only girl.....but he never hit me, that was my mom's job.


I spanked my children, but mostly they got grounded.


My parents didn't know what grounding meant.

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Reply #23 posted 08/21/17 4:24pm

EmmaMcG

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Dalia11 said:

My dad also left.


Mine too. Before I was even born.
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Reply #24 posted 08/21/17 4:32pm

kpowers

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2freaky4church1 said:

Explains the Steelers.

We can do alot Bengal Mama jokes lol

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Reply #25 posted 08/21/17 5:14pm

214

Dalia11 said:

And children who grow up in broken homes are negatively affected emotionally. And the children who witness their parent being physically abused.

Not true, i'm just alright... or that's what i like to tell to myself. sad

[Edited 8/21/17 19:15pm]

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Reply #26 posted 08/21/17 5:55pm

Dalia11

214, Generally a lot of the children are affected emotionally. If they have other positive family members around them that can be beneficial. I had an older brother.
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Reply #27 posted 08/21/17 7:49pm

Lammastide

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My dad was reasonably permissive. My mom was strict -- overly so, I'd say. And she did hit me regularly.

I am strict with my own daughter in two areas: Honouring her responsibilities, and not unduly harming others. In almost every other area, I offer a ton more latitude for her to organically arrive at self-discipline, which in my mind should be a parent's end game.

My personal take on corporal punishment is that while I don't take any parenting tool off the table as a matter of course, I'm failing as the parent I strive to be if I ever have to raise my hand to my daughter. And I haven't since tapping her rump once for carelessly prancing into the street at age 4. She's now 16.

Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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