independent and unofficial
Prince fan community site
Mon 20th Jan 2020 7:48pm
Welcome! Sign up or enter username and password to remember me
Forum jump
Forums > General Discussion > Rate The Last Movie You Watched
« Previous topic  Next topic »
Page 5 of 7 <1234567>
  New topic   Printable     (Log in to 'subscribe' to this topic)
Reply #120 posted 06/23/17 12:06pm

Ace

avatar

RodeoSchro said:


COWBOY HAT INTERLUDE!

It's a well-known fact that all people are enhanced by wearing a cowboy hat, but women are especially enhanced. You could put a cowboy hat on Broomhilda and she would quit looking like a witch and start looking like a red hot barrel racer. Proof? Look at these ScarJo Before-And-After-Cowboy-Hat pictures:





Which ScarJo would YOU leave your wife, kids, job and friends for? Well, neither in my case. But if you are a degenerate, I'm sure that Cowboy Hat ScarJo could get her clutches on you, whereas Plain Head ScarJo probably could not (unless you are PurpleJedi).


lol

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #121 posted 06/23/17 12:56pm

RodeoSchro

avatar

Ace said:

RodeoSchro said:


COWBOY HAT INTERLUDE!

It's a well-known fact that all people are enhanced by wearing a cowboy hat, but women are especially enhanced. You could put a cowboy hat on Broomhilda and she would quit looking like a witch and start looking like a red hot barrel racer. Proof? Look at these ScarJo Before-And-After-Cowboy-Hat pictures:





Which ScarJo would YOU leave your wife, kids, job and friends for? Well, neither in my case. But if you are a degenerate, I'm sure that Cowboy Hat ScarJo could get her clutches on you, whereas Plain Head ScarJo probably could not (unless you are PurpleJedi).


lol




hug

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #122 posted 06/23/17 7:24pm

damosuzuki

the color wheel - 3.5/5 a brother & sister, grown adults yet remarkably childish & incredibly caustic, go on a road trip to move her belongings out of her ex-boyfriend/professor's house. this is probably the most entertaining movie i've ever seen about people being rotten & childish & petty & generally plain mean. has a fairly shocking ending that came out of nowhere (at least it did for me) that left me a little stunned at what i'd just seen, but overall i thought this was completely entertaining.

20189485.jpg

[Edited 6/23/17 19:26pm]

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #123 posted 06/24/17 2:55pm

damosuzuki

leila (1997) - 4/5 newly married iranian woman pushes her husband to enter a second marriage after finding out she's infertile. shares many of the same elements as asghar farhardi's recent, highly acclaimed films - some of same kinds of plot details, some of the same actors, the same feeling of the gears of modernism grinding against religious rididity. i wouldn't rate this quite as highly as farhardi's films, mostly because it does run a bit long. by the end, i was thinking 'point made, wrap it up already please...' but is still excellent & really worth a watch for those who love those farhardi movies.

the print that i saw (it's on the sundancenow streaming service) was in amazingly bad shape for a film that's only 20 years old. i'm guessing that the film-maker only had access to really old film stock, as it had the look of a fairly badly degraded movie from the 70s.

Leila-1996-film-images-382e81d5-8ff1-435f-88e9-d5693cdc8f5.jpg

[Edited 6/24/17 15:05pm]

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #124 posted 06/24/17 3:55pm

kpowers

avatar

Image result for rings movie

C+ Don't really need to bring back the Ring movies again

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #125 posted 06/25/17 2:03pm

namepeace

Blazing Saddles (1974)

For my $, the greatest comedy in film history.

starstarstarstarstar

Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016

Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #126 posted 06/25/17 5:43pm

214

Moonlight- 2016

Good story,but quite depressing specially the ending. A touching plot but not strong enough.

I for one believe that this film did not deserve the Oscar over La La Land, despite its weaker

plot, as a film is much better. 3/5

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #127 posted 06/26/17 9:51am

RodeoSchro

avatar

GOOD NEWS - I watched three or four movies over the weekend.

BAD NEWS - I've already reviewed these movies (except for maybe one of them).

In a rare weekend spent the whole time at home, I watched -

"The Accountant" - Not as good the second time, especially with me having to explain everything to my wife.

The last 20 minutes of "Rocky IV" - This movie seems stupider and stupider each time I watch it but it's a Rocky movie, which means that even if it reaches Maximum Stupidity, I will still love it and rank it higher than almost anything except Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

The last half of "Animal House" - Still the greatest movie I've ever seen. RIP, Stephen Furst.

"Sixteen Candles" - I forgot to include this one originally. GREAT movie! My son and I laughed the whole way through. Point of Parlimentary Procedure, though. The songs in this movie are AWESOME. And I remembered I have the soundtrack LP! So I dug it out and there is NOTHING on it except five songs of mood music! WTF?!?!?!? Hang on while I Google this important issue...OK, done. Wikipedia says, "The original soundtrack was released as a specially priced mini album containing only 5 songs. However, the movie actually featured an extensive selection of over 30 songs." No kidding! There's a list of all the songs that were in the movie. I'm going to be YouTubing these songs all day!

"Death Proof" - The second half of Quentin Tarentino's "Grindhouse". OK, I'll review this one. I don't think I ever have before.

F******G AWESOME! Combine Kurt Russell, fast cars, semi-hot chicks, and lots of blood. How could you go wrong?

Short answer - You almost can't! Longer answer - You can if you spend too much time on mindless chick dialogue. Which Tarentino did. Hey, I'm all for chick dialogue. But it should be written by chicks. As cool as Tarentino is, he's not a chick. He gave it his best try, but I don't think chicks talk like that when us dudes aren't around. At least, I hope they don't.

Anyway, the movie centers around Kurt Russell aka Stuntman Bob aka One Of The Coolest Dudes In Movies. Someone tell me why I haven't seen more Kurt Russell movies. I am declaring right now:

This summer I will watch some more Kurt Russell movies. Also, I am going to binge watch "Veep" (I binge watched three episodes of that after "Animal House" Saturday and laughed a whole lot!)

Stuntman Bob gets his rocks off by killing chicks via his Death Mobile. The first Death Mobile we see is a '69 Chevy Nova. Michelle Rodriguez notices it earlier in the day. She thinks Stuntman Bob is following her, which he is, but he convinces her it's just coincidence that they ended up at the same bar in Austin, Texas that night. But it's not. Stuntman Bob really is following her and intends to kill her and all her friends with his Death Mobile.

But first Stuntman Bob decides to kill another girl, simply because she needs a ride home. I've been to a lot of bars in Austin, Texas but I have never a semi-hot chick ask the entire bar if someone will give her a ride home. I mean, we all want to KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD but that's just a little too weird. So what, though? It's a movie where Stuntman Bob kills chicks with his Death Mobile! Let's just continue to suspend our disbelief.

Stuntman Bob's Death Mobile has a cage for a passenger seat, and the semi-hot chick has to sit on a tractor seat, with no seat belt. Stuntman Bob kills her by swerving a lot, so that she's thrown against various walls, and then slamming on the brakes so that she hits the windshield. This kills her but Stuntman Bob still has more killin' to do!

Michelle Rodriguez and her band of semi-hot chicks are also driving home, or somewhere. Inexplicably, they find a road in Austin, Texas that has no other traffic. If you've been to Austin, Texas you know that road hasn't existed for about 30 years. Dad gum, Austin is just way too big now!

I guess while we're on the subject, let me whine about Austin for a paragraph or two. Now, it's true that Austin used to be the center of cool. It was beautiful and it was populated exlusively by hippies, college students, Willie Nelson/Waylone Jennings/Stevie Ray Vaughn/Jerry Jeff Walker/and their friends, and crooked politicians. If you cannot have fun with that kind of group, then you just are incapable of having fun.

But then some genius back in the '90's thought, "Hey - you know what Austin's missing? Tech nerds!" So before we could stop it, Dell Computers had moved their headquarters to Austin. Lots of tech nerds followed. The so-called Dellionaires used their $$$millions from Dell stock and bought everything. Question - Have you ever seen a tech nerd buy something and make it cooler than it was?

Yeah, neither have I.

Add to that the fact that Austin was planned to have a population of no more than 300,000. That's how many people they built all the roads for, and they didn't allow for the traffic that comes with a population of 912,791 (not counting the few hippies that still live in various school busses on the bad side of Lake Travis).

Yeah, Austin's traffic is the worst in Texas. Even us Houstonians are scared to drive in that traffic nightmare.

So you have a whole city that used to be cool but is now populated with tech nerds. Even the University of Texas is now comprised mostly of up-and-coming tech nerds. It's not near the place it was back when Matthew McConagueheyehghghy was smoking doobies on 6th Street. And even though Matthew McConguslilliyery comes back to Austin a lot, and even though Sandra Bullock lives there, it's just not the same without wild college students. And hippies, who can no longer afford to live for free in the various secret treehouses they used to inhabit.

Don't tell anyone, but where I live is now the coolest place in Texas. I want to keep it that way too, so this is just between you and me - Clear Lake is the place to be. We are Death Mobile-free!

Back to the movie. Stuntman Bob has just killed a semi-hot chick, and her carcass is still in the car. He turns around, somehow knowing through his Stuntman Intuition that Michelle Rodriguez and her band of other semi-hot chicks are coming up the deserted road. He kills the lights, which makes his black Nova Death Mobile invisible, then floors it and smashes into Michelle Rodriguez's car. Tarentino shows us in graphic detail how each of the semi-hot chicks dies. Yechh, it was at this point that Mrs. RodeoSchro said, "Do we have to watch this? Please turn it off!"

I convinced her the movie was going to get good because some other semi-hot chicks were going to give Stuntman Bob what for, so she agreed to leave on "Death Proof" and not make me turn the channel to "Rules of Engagement". Score one for RodeoSchro!

Stuntman Bob ends up in the hospital, where a rural cop explains to us that Stuntman Bob is a psycho freak who can only be sexually satisfied by killing chicks in a Death Mobile. But he can't prove it, so Stuntman Bob goes free.

Stuntman Bob ends up in Tennessee, where a group of semi-hot chicks is part of a movie crew. One of them is Zoe Bell, who is playing herself. I had no idea who Zoe Bell was until this morning, when Google told me she is a stuntwoman from Down Under. That's exactly the part she plays in "Death Proof"!

Zoe Bell and her friends are on a mission to drive a '70 Dodge Challenger with a 440 Magnum motor that is for sale in the town in which they are filming. Stuntman Bob is on a mission to kill Zoe Bell and her friends with his new Death Mobile - a black '68 Charger with what has to be a Hemi.

Zoe Bell tells her stuntwoman friend that when they get to this '70 Challenger, she wants to play "Ship's Mast". It takes some convincing, but stuntwoman #2 agrees.

They go to the shack of the guy selling the '70 Challenger and convince him that the girl they are going to leave behind as collateral might give him some sex if he will let them take this $100,000 car out for a drive. We never find out if the guy has sex or not but I'm guessing he did.

Zoe Bell then begins the game of Ship's Mast, which consists of her laying on the hood and hanging on to belts tied to the roof, while stuntwoman #2 goes real fast and slides Zoe Bell across the hood. Pretty lame if you ask me; that is, until Stuntman Bob shows up with Death Mobile 2.

He begins sideswiping them, hoping to throw Zoe Bell off the hood and kill her. But to his chagrin, it turns out that Zoe Bell is really good at Ship's Mast and he is unable to accomplish his goal. The two cars take various turns ramming each other, until Stuntman Bob has a minor wreck and decides to call it a day.

"Hey, I was just kidding!" he tells the girls. "Wasn't that fun?" In response, stuntwoman 2 shoots him in the arm. Stuntman Bob takes this as a sign the girls did not enjoy the game as much as he did, so he skeedaddles out of there as fast as he can.

The girls, however, have other ideas. In fact, their idea is to catch Stuntman Bob and kill him. The tables are turned!

After a few minutes of chasing, sideswiping, and other ramming techniques, the girls force Stuntman Bob into a gruesome wreck. He's hanging out the window, crying. The girls drag him out of the car, stand him up, and then punch the ever-living daylights out of him. He finally falls, and Zoe Bell finishes him off with the boot of death to his face.

"See?" I told my wife. "It had a happy ending!" She was not convinced, and I had to watch two episodes of "Rules of Engagement" as a punishment.

So to recap:

This summer is going to be the Summer of Kurt Russell (not to be confused with the Summer of George); and

I saw the following three Death Mobiles this past weekend:


replica-animal-house-deathmobile-on-ebay_100305635_m.jpg06b73055fcbe3b56b333b6ddbc6afc06.jpgdeathproof2ut5.8315.jpg


I give all movies with a Death Mobile starstarstarstarstar!!!

.

[Edited 6/26/17 12:15pm]

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #128 posted 06/26/17 9:54am

RodeoSchro

avatar

damosuzuki said:

the color wheel - 3.5/5 a brother & sister, grown adults yet remarkably childish & incredibly caustic, go on a road trip to move her belongings out of her ex-boyfriend/professor's house. this is probably the most entertaining movie i've ever seen about people being rotten & childish & petty & generally plain mean. has a fairly shocking ending that came out of nowhere (at least it did for me) that left me a little stunned at what i'd just seen, but overall i thought this was completely entertaining.

20189485.jpg

[Edited 6/23/17 19:26pm]




Holy moley, I read the plot to this on Wikipedia. That ending is SICK.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #129 posted 06/26/17 12:10pm

damosuzuki

RodeoSchro said:

damosuzuki said:

the color wheel - 3.5/5 a brother & sister, grown adults yet remarkably childish & incredibly caustic, go on a road trip to move her belongings out of her ex-boyfriend/professor's house. this is probably the most entertaining movie i've ever seen about people being rotten & childish & petty & generally plain mean. has a fairly shocking ending that came out of nowhere (at least it did for me) that left me a little stunned at what i'd just seen, but overall i thought this was completely entertaining.

20189485.jpg

[Edited 6/23/17 19:26pm]




Holy moley, I read the plot to this on Wikipedia. That ending is SICK.

well....yeah...i won't dispute that. i think i can kinda guess at what the film-maker was going for, but it certainly left me picking my jaw off the floor.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #130 posted 06/26/17 12:14pm

damosuzuki

paterson - 4.5/5 genuinely sweet, good-natured, tranquil movie about a week in the life of a truly nice man who drives a bus & writes poetry & his perfectly lovely wife and their dog & a few other people. i can be a little hot & cold on jim jarmusch, but this feels like his greatest & almost certainly his most loveable film.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #131 posted 06/26/17 4:35pm

Ace

avatar

Song to Song

If you've seen Knight of Cups, this is more of the same. Gorgeous stars, photography and locations, but pretentious, convoluted "story". Only worthwhile if you like looking at pretty pictures and/or actors (and non-actors) improvising.

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #132 posted 06/27/17 5:50am

peedub

avatar



i love novels that work because they exploit the artistic nuances of being a novel. i love comics that work because they exploit the artistic nuances of being a comic.

i love 'mad max: fury road' because it could only work as a movie...and a goddamn good one, at that. this is one of the few movies that i will watch over and over again and enjoy every time.

19 outta 10.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #133 posted 06/27/17 7:29am

jillybean

avatar

My Cousin Rachel

star star

"She made me glad to be a man"
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #134 posted 06/27/17 3:00pm

214

peedub said:



i love novels that work because they exploit the artistic nuances of being a novel. i love comics that work because they exploit the artistic nuances of being a comic.

i love 'mad max: fury road' because it could only work as a movie...and a goddamn good one, at that. this is one of the few movies that i will watch over and over again and enjoy every time.

19 outta 10.

It's really an amazing film.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #135 posted 06/27/17 3:21pm

RJOrion

i had high expectations, but the movie was a waste of time....a fairly good cast was

wasted on by a shittily written plot... and the so-called alien life form was an

unintentionally funny martian starfish who eats people from the inside while

squeezing their bodies (WTF???)... this shit must have been written by some

college freshmen at UCLA or USC... go see "Alien: Covenant" instead...

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #136 posted 06/28/17 8:12am

RodeoSchro

avatar

Looking forward to seeing "Baby Driver soon! Car chases, Kevin Spacey, car crashes, Jamie Foxx, car wrecks - this movie looks like it has it all!

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #137 posted 06/28/17 9:18am

namepeace

Dekalog: One (1988-9)

I've started this Polish series of feature films paralleling the Ten Commandments in modern working-class Poland. The first one was a compelling, heart-wrenching tale of faith and reason. Looking forward to the others.

starstarstar.5

Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016

Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #138 posted 06/28/17 6:18pm

Ace

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

Looking forward to seeing "Baby Driver soon! Car chases, Kevin Spacey, car crashes, Jamie Foxx, car wrecks - this movie looks like it has it all!


lol

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #139 posted 06/28/17 6:44pm

imago

avatar

Ace said:



RodeoSchro said:


Looking forward to seeing "Baby Driver soon! Car chases, Kevin Spacey, car crashes, Jamie Foxx, car wrecks - this movie looks like it has it all!




lol


eek




~faints~
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #140 posted 06/28/17 8:12pm

damosuzuki

blue sunshine 1977 2/5 - 10 years after taking acid in college, multiple people lose their hair and go on insane killing sprees. works for the first 20 minutes or so pretty nicely, but meanders from there into a fairly clunky, very rote horror/thriller territory. has a few bizarre moments & some weird acting that could elevate it for trash connoisseurs , but i just found it dull. for a movie about bad flashbacks, it could have been a lot trippier.

blue-sunshine-movie-poster-1978-1020209285.jpg

[Edited 6/28/17 20:19pm]

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #141 posted 06/29/17 2:37am

Ace

avatar

imago said:

Ace said:


lol

eek ~faints~


eek

faint

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #142 posted 06/29/17 6:42am

RodeoSchro

avatar

imago said:

Ace said:


lol

eek ~faints~



If it has any Night Ranger in the soundtrack, it could become my favorite movie of all time. And I say this not even having seen the movie yet.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #143 posted 06/30/17 4:53pm

RodeoSchro

avatar

My son and I decided on some quality father-son bonding last night, so we fired up a man's-man kind of movie. Sadly, our only choice was "John Wick 2".

I've made the joke before that, "I didn't see xxxxxxxx 1 and I was totally lost!" Well believe it or not, if you didn't see "John Wick 1" you WILL be totally lost. And I haven't seen "John Wick 1".

Apparently, Keanu Reeves plays the ultimate hit man who, in the last movie, killed many dozens of swarthy Russians because they killed his puppy. And also his wife/fiancee/squeeze/God only knows. And, to top it off, they stole his car - a sweet '70 Mustang Mach I with a 429 Boss engine.

All of these things combine to put John Wick 2 in a bad mood so he kills all the swarthy Russians, but completely wrecks his Mustang in the process. So he goes home to his dog.

He has retired from hit manning so he buries his most cherished weapons in the cellar and then cements them shut forever. So of course his doorbell rings and guess who it is? Yep - the guy from the last movie to whom John Wick 1 had given his "marker". Oh, you didn't know there was a guy from a previous movie to whom John Wick 1 had given his "marker"? See! I told you that you'd be lost!

But there's a problem. John Wick 2 tells the swarthy Italian that he has retired and therefore won't be honoring any markers. The swarthy Italian does not buy that - after all, John Wick 1 had sealed the marker with his blood, so John Wick 2 is obligated to do whatever the swarthy Italian wants him to do. John Wick 2 politely disagrees, especially when he hears the favor the swarthy Italian wants is for John Wick 2 to kill the swarthy Italian's sister, who was bequeathed a "seat at the table" that the swarthy Italian wants, and can only get if his sister dies.

"I can't kill her - she's family!" says the swarthy Italian. "That's why I need you to do it". Dang - President Trump really HAS made family values a thing of the past! Still, John Wick 2 refuses, so the swarthy Italian leaves, but then pulls out a grenade launcher from his swarthy Italian car, and blows up John Wick 2's house. Fortunately, John Wick 2 and his dog survive, but all the pictures he had of his long lost love burned up.

John Wick 2 goes to The Continental. Now by this point, I've kind of figured out that John Wick 2 lives in world of connsummate hitmen. Everyone knows everyone, and there's a hitman on every corner. There's even some 1940's-style switchboard where, if you want to activate a hit, Lily Tomlin plugs wires into holes and sends dstuff through pneumatic tubes and types on an IBM Selectric and then sends texts via a 1972 CRT screen and viola! All hitmen in the world are on point!

Are you getting the point? This movie was very stupid. Keanu Reeves was very stupid. If you thought Ben Affleck was wooden and laconic, he has nothing on Keanu Reeves. At least Affleck can grow a beard. I'm not sure what that was supposed to be on Reeves' face.

He is good at killing people, although many times it takes him 3 or 4 shots to kill a guy. It's like his M.O. is to shoot a guy somewhere that wounds him, and then pop him in the head.

I wanted a kill count but I quit counting how many guys Reeves killed during the catacombs scene. Reeves has just killed the swarthy Italian's sister and is trying to escape through the catacombs. But 249 hitmen are after him. However, the catacombs are dark and Reeves can see in the dark whereas all other hitmen cannot. So they all run with flashlights. Reeves just pops flashlights until there are no more flashlights to pop. Basically what I did for my kill count was count how many guys were in the movie, subtract three dudes who work at The Continental, and that was how many guys got killed.

Lawrence Fishburne was in this movie and I suppose we were supposed to get excited about a "The Matrix" reunion but since I've never seen any Matrix movies, I didn't care.

Stay away from John Wick 2. I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have been better even if I'd seen John Wick 1.

This movie gets 1 Popped Head Shooting Out Blood out of the 462 Popped Heads Shooting Blood that were in this movie.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #144 posted 07/02/17 7:45pm

damosuzuki

the beguiled (1971) 4/5 i'm hoping to catch the new version tomorrow, and decided to brush up on the original in order to have it fresh in mind as a comparison. it definitely has some pretty retrograde, anachronistic elements, & i'm interested to see how the new one tackles those points. still an interesting film, a little bizarre at times with some almost art-house flourishes, and definitely worth a watch.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #145 posted 07/03/17 2:30pm

RodeoSchro

avatar

Last night/this morning I watched "Parental Guidance". This is a movie starring Billy Crystal and Bette Midler. I did not know this movie existed, nor did I know Billy Crystal and/or Bette Midler were still making movies.

What I'm trying to say is that my life was pretty good until last night.

Why did I watch "Parental Guidance" you ask? Because it was late, there was nothing else on except the classic "Roadhouse", but I was unable to convince my wife and favorite mother-in-law to watch what is arguably Patrick Swayze's greatest movie (only "Red Dawn" challenges for this title). Also, I planned on sleeping through most of the movie, so really who cared? Although, I would have stayed up all night had we watched "Roadhouse". You can't sleep during "Roadhouse".

"Parental Guidance" is a by-the-numbers family movie. You know exactly what is going to happen before it happens. About the only good thing this movie has going for it is that Crystal still has good comedic timing. If only there had been some comedy lines to deliver!

Let's end this right now. There is no reason for anyone who is, was, or ever will be on this website to see "Parental Guidance".

And while we're at it - and because there is currently no "Rate the Last Book You Read" thread - there is also no reason for you to ever read any Ed McBain novels concerning the 87th precinct. I read one yesterday, as there was nothing else to read. It was stupid. There weren't any good guys you could like. The bad guys all got away. What a waste of 300 pages.

Now, you might think that yesterday was a total waste. Wrong! I laid out by the pool, caught maximum rays, had a great dinner at the San Luis Hotel, and saw some old friends. It was so much fun that I almost completely forgot about reading and watching boring crud.

Almost.

Second Funkiest White Man in America

P&R's Palladin
  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #146 posted 07/04/17 4:07pm

damosuzuki

okja - 4/5 korean girl travels the world to save her super-pig from the corporate monsters (tm) who bred/genetically engineered him (i think it's a him). there were a few elements that didn't quite settle in properly for me (jake gyllenhaal & tilda swinton were both on the verge of playing slapstick, & i can't be the only person in the world who finds every business person being portrayed as an inhumane tyrant tiresome) but i still really loved this quirky, all over the place mess of a movie. not perfect, but i'd find the cinematic world to be a much better place if we could have more of these.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #147 posted 07/04/17 5:34pm

peedub

avatar

RodeoSchro said:

My son and I decided on some quality father-son bonding last night, so we fired up a man's-man kind of movie. Sadly, our only choice was "John Wick 2".

I've made the joke before that, "I didn't see xxxxxxxx 1 and I was totally lost!" Well believe it or not, if you didn't see "John Wick 1" you WILL be totally lost. And I haven't seen "John Wick 1".

Apparently, Keanu Reeves plays the ultimate hit man who, in the last movie, killed many dozens of swarthy Russians because they killed his puppy. And also his wife/fiancee/squeeze/God only knows. And, to top it off, they stole his car - a sweet '70 Mustang Mach I with a 429 Boss engine.

All of these things combine to put John Wick 2 in a bad mood so he kills all the swarthy Russians, but completely wrecks his Mustang in the process. So he goes home to his dog.

He has retired from hit manning so he buries his most cherished weapons in the cellar and then cements them shut forever. So of course his doorbell rings and guess who it is? Yep - the guy from the last movie to whom John Wick 1 had given his "marker". Oh, you didn't know there was a guy from a previous movie to whom John Wick 1 had given his "marker"? See! I told you that you'd be lost!

But there's a problem. John Wick 2 tells the swarthy Italian that he has retired and therefore won't be honoring any markers. The swarthy Italian does not buy that - after all, John Wick 1 had sealed the marker with his blood, so John Wick 2 is obligated to do whatever the swarthy Italian wants him to do. John Wick 2 politely disagrees, especially when he hears the favor the swarthy Italian wants is for John Wick 2 to kill the swarthy Italian's sister, who was bequeathed a "seat at the table" that the swarthy Italian wants, and can only get if his sister dies.

"I can't kill her - she's family!" says the swarthy Italian. "That's why I need you to do it". Dang - President Trump really HAS made family values a thing of the past! Still, John Wick 2 refuses, so the swarthy Italian leaves, but then pulls out a grenade launcher from his swarthy Italian car, and blows up John Wick 2's house. Fortunately, John Wick 2 and his dog survive, but all the pictures he had of his long lost love burned up.

John Wick 2 goes to The Continental. Now by this point, I've kind of figured out that John Wick 2 lives in world of connsummate hitmen. Everyone knows everyone, and there's a hitman on every corner. There's even some 1940's-style switchboard where, if you want to activate a hit, Lily Tomlin plugs wires into holes and sends dstuff through pneumatic tubes and types on an IBM Selectric and then sends texts via a 1972 CRT screen and viola! All hitmen in the world are on point!

Are you getting the point? This movie was very stupid. Keanu Reeves was very stupid. If you thought Ben Affleck was wooden and laconic, he has nothing on Keanu Reeves. At least Affleck can grow a beard. I'm not sure what that was supposed to be on Reeves' face.

He is good at killing people, although many times it takes him 3 or 4 shots to kill a guy. It's like his M.O. is to shoot a guy somewhere that wounds him, and then pop him in the head.

I wanted a kill count but I quit counting how many guys Reeves killed during the catacombs scene. Reeves has just killed the swarthy Italian's sister and is trying to escape through the catacombs. But 249 hitmen are after him. However, the catacombs are dark and Reeves can see in the dark whereas all other hitmen cannot. So they all run with flashlights. Reeves just pops flashlights until there are no more flashlights to pop. Basically what I did for my kill count was count how many guys were in the movie, subtract three dudes who work at The Continental, and that was how many guys got killed.

Lawrence Fishburne was in this movie and I suppose we were supposed to get excited about a "The Matrix" reunion but since I've never seen any Matrix movies, I didn't care.

Stay away from John Wick 2. I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't have been better even if I'd seen John Wick 1.

This movie gets 1 Popped Head Shooting Out Blood out of the 462 Popped Heads Shooting Blood that were in this movie.


i just waatched 'john wick' the other night...it had it's moments, but overall it felt like watching someone play a video game for an hour and a half. not a bad movie, but i'd rather have the time back to waste another way.

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #148 posted 07/04/17 5:36pm

peedub

avatar

damosuzuki said:

the beguiled (1971) 4/5 i'm hoping to catch the new version tomorrow, and decided to brush up on the original in order to have it fresh in mind as a comparison. it definitely has some pretty retrograde, anachronistic elements, & i'm interested to see how the new one tackles those points. still an interesting film, a little bizarre at times with some almost art-house flourishes, and definitely worth a watch.


sofia coppola was on marc maron's 'wtf?' podcast the other week...a good portion of their conversation was about her remake. might be worth a listen...

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Reply #149 posted 07/04/17 7:00pm

damosuzuki

peedub said:

damosuzuki said:

the beguiled (1971) 4/5 i'm hoping to catch the new version tomorrow, and decided to brush up on the original in order to have it fresh in mind as a comparison. it definitely has some pretty retrograde, anachronistic elements, & i'm interested to see how the new one tackles those points. still an interesting film, a little bizarre at times with some almost art-house flourishes, and definitely worth a watch.


sofia coppola was on marc maron's 'wtf?' podcast the other week...a good portion of their conversation was about her remake. might be worth a listen...

i gave that podcast a listen this weekend. i don't listen to every episode of wtf, but i definitely tune in every time he interviews anyone i find even half-heartedly interesting. but thanks for the heads-up, regardless.

the beguiled (2017) 4/5 this definitely updates some of the obsolescent points seen in the 1971 original, and it feels like a more nuanced take. colin ferrell seems like far less of an obvious black hat here than eastwood, and the women are not the broadly drawn caricatures shown in the 71 version. certainly an interesting viewing for anyone who's familiar with the original, and i think it would stand as a very good watch for everyone else. has a languid pace, but it's only 90 minutes long, so that's not really a problem.

beguiled_xlg.jpg

[Edited 7/4/17 19:02pm]

  - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator
Page 5 of 7 <1234567>
  New topic   Printable     (Log in to 'subscribe' to this topic)
« Previous topic  Next topic »
Forums > General Discussion > Rate The Last Movie You Watched